Inertia is a part of my writer-life. No matter how hard I try to banish it forever, I know it is lurking just out of sight, waiting to lull me into non-writing inactivity. So says the blogger who has been absent for a solid five months.
One part apology, one part explanation, I’ll share my thought processes here, get you all caught up to speed, and hopefully entertain you a bit on the way.
Five months ago, I was planning to take a small break from blogging simply because I was planning to move my family from Helsinki, Finland, to Ulm, Germany. We’d rented a house, purchased things for the house (a new bed for us, a lawn mower, wardrobe cabinets, a couple of chairs), we’d even moved all of Matt’s clothes AND our cat to the house. Oh yeah, and we’d moved Matt into the house.
I was buzzing along, purging loads of stuff from our flat in Helsinki. I felt so, so sad to leave my friends and my life here, but it was hard not to be excited about moving to southern Germany: More sunshine, closer to the mountains, closer to our beloved France.
However, as a huge believer in the power of my own intuition (typically referred to as those “gut feelings” I get that govern just about every decision in my life), something just didn’t seem right. I won’t say I knew we weren’t going to go–my goodness, we got so far as to cancel our Finnish social security, pay the deposit at the new school in Germany, and did I mention we moved the cat???–but I will say that I was only half surprised when I drove off from our flat for the last time, empty as it now was of all of our belongings, picked Matt up from work, and heard the words, “Well, we’re not moving to Germany.”
I’ll spare you the gory details, but we had a solid few days where we weren’t sure if he had a job and a few uncomfortable weeks after that where we knew he had a job, but weren’t sure how long it would last. Then, just over a month after the whole crazy thing began, we were unpacking our stuff into a new home in Finland (yes, at this point, Matt had already retrieved the cat!).
So my two month grace period to move from Helsinki to Ulm grew by one month, as we added a month in temporary lodging to our summer plans. Then I realized that I didn’t really have much to say. The move-not-move was, after all, shocking, stressful, and, after the dust had settled, an amazing relief. Because now I’m still in the country that I have come to love, I’m actually in a bigger, beautiful home with a garden, on a quiet cul-de-sac that appears to dump right onto a bike/running trail that I’m just sure is both lighted and groomed for skiing in the winter. I didn’t have to say goodbye to my friends (OK, I still had to say goodbye to a few who were also leaving Helsinki, but the majority are still here for one more year). I didn’t have to learn a new way of doing things, a new system of driving, of grocery shopping, of school pick-up and drop-off.
Here I am, five months later, and I figure I’d better get back in the blogger saddle if I’m going to. As a friend pointed out, it’s just not right if the person who claims to have Terminal Verbosity runs out of things to say…